So there's this book called Fifty Shades of Gray. The husband and I read an excerpt online, and you know what? It did bring us closer together as a couple. Because we were laughing so fucking hard we had to hang onto each other to keep from collapsing to the floor. Seriously, this book is shit. But I might still buy an audio copy if Gilbert Gottfried actually did read it.
(I keep hearing women are enthralled and intrigued by this amazing new thing called BDSM. Where the fuck were they living? Under a rock on a desert island somewhere? That's shit's on CSI, it's so mainstream now.
Here's a better book: Go the Fuck to Sleep, which every parent should be able to relate to, unless their kid sleeps all night since they were born, in which case their child is a freak who will probably murder them in their bed one day. It's read by brilliant lunatic director Werner Herzog, who seems like a cool guy to hang out with until you really think about it and realize he'll probably make fun of you later to his intellectual director friends.